I have always considered myself a positive person, who is grateful for what I have. I am in the midst of a yoga foundation course, and have to write a journal as part of the course. The comment from the tutor, is that I need to make more notes about showing gratitude, rather than my usual critiquing and reflecting. During the recent day of training for the course, I heard myself saying rather too much, ‘I can’t do that’, ‘oh I’m rubbish at that’, ‘my balance is bad on that leg’… I hadn’t realised how much I put myself down when I think I am struggling with something. It has been a real eye opener. As I was teaching on Saturday, I heard the same from some of my students, yet I became impatient with them, knowing only too well, that they could do it.
I then had a conversation with my husband, over the weekend, while he was washing my car, as he does every weekend. Have I been grateful for this activity, or do I take it for granted?
The conversation was around the support we give each other in our lives, for our study, our work, our passions. I began to doubt myself; do I give him enough gratitude for what he has done for me, for what he loves to do. Does he give me enough in return?
I had a day of being overwhelmed last week, and my two pooches came and sat on my lap, one of them licking my face as a few tears rolled down. Am I grateful for the love they show me unconditionally, do I play with them often enough to prove my love for them?
I have an assistant in my office who works hard and steadily through her work without complaint, while around her are two stress-y autistic bosses; one who loses patience at many small problems, and the other who is either hyper-active in all that she does, or feeling as low as can be (that’s me). It can’t be easy for her, yet she seems to take it in her stride. Are we grateful?
I have a beautiful house in the country, with a large garden, hens, doves and I grow my own fruit and veg; am I grateful? At the weekend I moaned quite a bit about how much cleaning it takes… yes I love what I have but perhaps I don’t appreciate it as much as I should. I am not sure why I moaned – I had a lovely time cleaning and clearing out yet more clutter.
I am quite distraught by the fact that I do not seem to be as grateful as I should be, that I am perhaps not as positive as I thought.
I am therefore setting myself a challenge, which you might want to join in with as well.
I am going to find something I am grateful for each day and write it into a journal (my usual notebook on a special page), for 30 days. I shall blog about these. They could be just privately acknowledged, or as a declaration on a social media platform, or just said out loud to your family each day.
Once I have finished the whole 30, I shall publish them as an article on my website, www.theautisticvoice.co.uk. In the meantime keep coming back to my blog for updates as I progress through my journey.
Good luck to us all.
Until next time…